Being a woman is confusing.

Benjamin was discovering that being a woman was a lot more than just having a woman's Body; it was more emotional, more mental, more personal. 

He was discovering being a woman was an exciting painful stressful confusing and sexual roller coaster to be on. 

There was no single day that was not filled with joy happiness down confusion and self-loathing. 

Even though he knew he was a beautiful, sexy woman, he still doubted his looks, his way of walking, his way of talking, and the way other people saw him.

He still felt that people could see through the shell of the woman he was now and see the little core of what was left of his male identity.

He had tried to find a happy balance between his new body, his new mind, and his old identity, especially when it came to intimacy, being in the bedroom, and finding men attracted.