What the hell is going on?

17-year-old Robert had no idea who he was where he was or what was going on all he knew was he was somehow a naked chick standing in a hotel room.

But if that was not bad enough he could hear through the open bathroom door the sound of a running shower and a man happily whistling.

He picked up the mobile phone he saw on the bedside table and frantically dialled 999 which to his horror was engaged and an automatic message informed him due to a national crisis to stay where he was and wait for help.

Which was as far as he was concerned no help at all.